A Fidgetologist's Favorite Toys

 Full disclosure: I am a licensed clinical psychologist and a self-certified fidgetologist (second full disclosure: I made up the term). Neologism (new word) or not, I have since infancy always enjoyed having something to fiddle with in my hands. Beginning with my security blanket (actually a ratty swatch of cotton), I calmed my restless hands all the way through graduate school years by doodling, chewing pencils, and even, until my wife forbade it, smoking a pipe. Now I have my own private practice with an office stocked with gadgets, novelties, illusions, and sundry chachkes and manipulatives for my clients – and for me – to use to harness nervous energy and sharpen focus.

I am far from the first person to herald the use of fidget aids. Chapter 16 in the Book of Proverbs sounds like a modern slogan for one of these devices when it proclaims, “Idle hands are the devil’s workshop.” We know that ancient cultures and Native American tribes used amulets and smooth stones, often polished by the ocean, to relieve fear and impart strength. Worry stones, usually oval shaped with a thumb-sized indentation, are used by some of my clients today for self-soothing or anxiety relief.

There is a classic example of the use of a fidget device in The Caine Mutiny by Herman Wouk: Whenever the main character Captain Queeg became tense, which was quite often, he reached for two small steel balls, which he rolled incessantly in his hand. Humphrey Bogart earned an Oscar nomination in his role as Queeg in the movie version; and his performance as the obsessive, ball-bearing-clicking troubled leader is one of the most iconic screen characters of all times.

In short, invoking cognitive behavior therapy, I endorse the use of stress balls, worry stones and other devices which offer psychological relief and healthy relaxation. These techniques are certainly preferable to such familiar but destructive coping methods as nail-biting, scratching, bottle-flipping, lip-biting, hair pulling, smoking, etc. that the patient may have developed.

Fidget devices are considered particularly helpful for clients with ADHD or for kids with anxiety or spectrum disorders. According to the authors of a book called Fidget to Focus, “Fidgets are simultaneous sensory-motor stimulation strategies — the four S’s.”  In other words, if something we are doing is not interesting, the additional four S’s allow our brains to become fully engaged on the primary activity; they perk up the visual and motor faculties. The four S’s also reduce tension and nervousness in kids who struggle with anxiety.

What, you ask, are my favorite fidget devices? I like small, colorful, mindless, hand-held gadgets, like “tangle toys,” soft squeeze balls, fidget cubes, and plastic bottles filled with liquid to simulate ocean waves (moving water has a well-documented soothing effect on the human psyche). If I had to award the Oscar to one fidget device, I would give the prize to Boinks Fidgets. These are relatively cheap toys that feature a marble inside a tube of woven plastic.  It provides contact comfort and kinesthetic pleasure in squishing or squeezing the durable material or  sliding the marble back and forth to keep your hands "quiet." All of the fidget toys I recommend can be held or handled without making noise while you are talking or listening. They are not like the glut of spinning toys which I consider too labor-intense, often too noisy, and generally, I believe, too entertaining to the spinner and others. An effective fidget is both respectful to others — it’s not distracting to them — and arousing enough to activate the brain to sustain interest where it couldn’t before. It seems to me that spinners become focused on the fidget toy to the exclusion of the class discussion or activity needing their attention.

SPINNER (Thumbs down from me)

Stress Ball (from company my

daughter co-founded)

BOINK!!!

That being said, even an appropriate fidget aid is never a panacea for nervous energy. Worse yet, it may become a distraction. I found this out first hand when I wrote a permission note for one of my young clients so he could bring his Boink to school to help him focus. The next day I got a polite but exasperated call from the boy’s principal informing me the Boink was being used for target practice and other unrestrained shenanigans. Now before I sanction the use of a fidget device, I prompt the child to recap the rules of the class or home and to demonstrate the proper use of the tool. If the misuse of the fidget toy continues, then it is advisable  to take the toy away for a period of time.

I haven’t even mentioned the number one fidget device of our time, bar none. Of course, I am talking about our smart phones. These devices are used so often by nearly everyone, myself included, that we seemingly can’t live without them. Researchers found that students describe their phones as physically and emotionally comforting, providing a shot of energy, a bit of relief, a boost in mood. Studies have shown that the hormone oxytocin and the chemical dopamine are triggered in the brain when these devices are used. In short, the smartphone is the drug of the virtual world – we are becoming hooked, a society of fidgetaholics (another full disclosure: I didn’t coin this term).

Round-the-clock access to technology is, I am afraid, associated with problems sleeping. An estimated 50-70 million US adults have sleep disorders. Even though our biological need for sleep is in the 7 to 9 hour range, on the average we are only getting six to 6 ½ hours of sleep a night; people today are getting much less sleep than people got 100 years ago. Sleep experts recommend shutting down iPads, iPhones and other electronics: studies actually show that the blue light emitted by these devices suppresses the production of sleep hormones in our bodies.

We are, in short, caught in a vicious cycle: we are becoming literally a more rest–less culture thereby generating the need for fidget devices to help us calm down. Yet the most widely used and ubiquitous devices may actually overstimulate us causing us to get even less and less good rest.

How do we control our gadgets, fidgets, and technology so they don’t control us? We need, I believe, time each week, each day, in fact, to power off and recharge ourselves. I advocate weekly and even daily sabbaticals, taking time to refrain from normal work/play and to engage in restful, mindful activities.

There is a classic Zen story about a man riding a horse. The horse is galloping quickly, and it appears that the rider is urgently heading somewhere important. A bystander along the road calls out, “Where you going?” The rider replies, “I don’t know! Ask the horse!” We have the freedom to choose to take back the reins of our own lives.  We can refuse to become the addicted passengers of our toys and devices, cantering about aimlessly as we chase their alluring delights.